Five nights at- OH SHI-
by RottingCheeseburger
Summary: May or May not turn into a shipping story, meh. Just what Mike experiences, and how the demonic animatronics realize, he ain't goin' anywhere, so they learn to "tolerate" the man. T for now... M for future violence, and possibly,...other things.
1. Chapter 1

It was a hot, nasty, sweaty summer night,

Mike walked into the old, falling apart Pizza parlor. A larger man seemed to be waiting for him. He had a large protruding gut, shaggy black hair, deep- almost….soulless looking black eyes— UGH—.

_"You must be, Mike…. Right?"_ The man asked and coughed.

_"Yes sir."_ He said in monotone, glancing around, at everything.

_"Well it's great to meet ya! I'll have to show ya around tomorrow, kiddo. You were a bit late—"_ The man cleared his throat.

Mike nodded and rubbed his neck _"I'm sorry about that, I-" "-Don't worry about it."_ The man interrupted. _"Your office is down, there. You use the monitors to make sure nothing…..funny is going on. There is a recording for you to listen to. Ha-Have a good night."_ He finished and hustled out.

Mike raised an eyebrow and strolled through the pizza parlor. It stunk. REALLY bad. He stood at the stage in front of the "band".

_"Ew."_ He scratched his lower back, and walked to the small room, he was supposed to chill in.

He sat down, and flicked on the hunkin' computer and looked at all of the rooms. Nothing seemed off.

_**" "**_

He'd played the recording, practically shitting bricks. Nothing had moved, but he was still freaking out.

_"WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME, THIS SHIT—- I CAN'T EVEN."_ His breathes were short and quick.

Suddenly… Bonnie- The bunny was gone.

Mike's jaw went slack. He went quiet, and followed where the rabbit was seeming to go. The dining hall….. the corridor…the closet…..then suddenly…. outside his door.

Mike screamed loudly and made the door slam shut. He hugged himself and looked side to side.  
>By now it was<p>

Bonnie and Chica had both come. He just repeatedly slammed the goddamn door in their faces.

_"What kind of sick fuck owns a haunted pizzeria for fuckin' kids."_ Mike snorted. He was calming down, but still freaked.

He switched to Pirates Cove, and noticed everything the same, except the sign. It was backwards.

_"What the fuck."_ He said in monotone and folded his arms. It was soon enough,

Light shined through some of the few windows.

The robots all returned back to their spots.

struck and Mike walked to pirates cove, to check out the weird sign. He fixed it, and peaked his head in quickly. The raggedy old, broken bot inside just stared blankly. _"….Wonder what the fuck happened to you, big guy."_ He grumbled, and walked out the back door,

He went back to his apartment, and jumped on the couch, and flipped through the Channels on his TV.

He fell asleep, a tired, deep, groggy sleep.

When he awoke, he **SERIOUSLY** pondered if he should _ACTUALLY_ go back to that dumb ass place,

then when he told himself he needed that shitty **$120,** he fixed himself up, and walked back, through the already dark streets, to the creepy place.

The owner waited, seeming happy that he had returned. _"GREAT TA SEE YA MIKE!"_ He boomed.

Mike nodded. _"Ya' know this place is fuckin' possessed. "_ He starred at the jolly man.

_"…Heh… yeahhhhhhh."_ He fiddled with his hands. _"They are harmless though! …"_ He began.

Mike scratched his head, and made a **'mmmm'** sound.

The man patted his shoulder. _"Have any questions—- call me."_ He nodded ,….. mostly to himself, and walked to the door-

He stopped right before he grabbed the handle, and looked over his shoulder.

_"Mike?"_

_"Yeah?"_ He raised an eyebrow.

_"__**Don't**__ fuck the fox."_ He said in a quiet, gruff tone before leaving.

Mike blinked…. a lot, and just walked to the office. 


	2. Chapter 2

Night Two was slower.

Mike pondered what the fuck the man had meant by "_Don't fuck the fox_",

He watched the camera's, and opened and closed the door's as needed. That rabbit was starting to piss him the fuck off. The man folded his arms with a huff. He spun around in his chair, and flicked through the different rooms.

He noticed that the Fox was coming out of the Pirates Cove. He made a disgusted face._ "…Ew." _He said aloud,

The foxes screen suddenly blurred out and then reappeared blank.

Mike groaned and checked the other camera's. He saw the quick robot running down the hallway. He screamed and shut the doors. Suddenly a loud

_**! ! ! THUMP ! ! !**_

echoed throughout Freddy FazBear's Pizzeria.

Loud, pained howls also came from the robot outside the door. Mike raised a questioning eyebrow and glanced out the window. The big, hunking- fallin' apart piece of shit glared up at him.

Mike grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote "**Lmao sorry**" On it and held it up to the window. The fox seemed to snarl, and smacked his hook against the window, before darting back to Pirates cove.

_"What a whiny, bitch."_ Mike said annoyed. He watched the Fox glare up at the camera.

Bonnie's mug appeared in the doorway, and Mike starred at the rabbit for a moment, then shut the door.

__

Foxy darted back through the hallways, only to be met with the door in his face again, and the thumping of his old, broken down body smacking against the cold tile. He scratched at the door and huffed.

_"GO. AWAY. YOU. DEMONIC. CREATURE."_ Mike shouted.

_"Cap'n Ai-AI-Ain't Poss-possessed by d-DEMONS."_ Foxy shouted back, and looked into the window.

_"Bull fuckin' shit."_ Mike snorted and sat back in his chair. Chica appeared in the other window. Mike closed the other door.

His battery started nearing **10%**…..  
>They both still stood there…..<br>**8%**

**6%**…..  
>…<strong>4%<strong>…..

Chica walked away, and Mike quickly opened the door.  
><em>"Shoo, scram, ya old, rustbucket!"<em> Mike yelled.

Foxy frowned and scratched at the window.

Mike groaned loudly, and opened the door as it battery hit **2%**

_"DON'T COME NEAR ME."_ He shouted.

_"Cap'n ain't gonna hurt ye."_ Foxy said cheerily and approached the human,

Right as the animal made it in the doorway the clock struck- __ and he froze, then walked back to the pirates cove.

Mike quickly packed his shit up, and left.

He questioned _why_ the Fox didn't attack him in those 10 seconds his door was open.  
>The fox <em>seemed<em> different then the others…. more…. than just some bloodthirsty-suit-stuffin' dipfuck.

Mike would think more about it when he woke up…. but for now- He was going to fuckin' bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Mike hauled ass outside, into his shitty _1974 Ford Mustang II. _It's color was barely noticeable, as it was covered in rust. He started it up, and speed home. The muffler and clanking noises coming from beneath the hunk of shit, keep the young man awake.

Once he returned to hiss shitty 1 bedroom apartment he CRASHED on the couch, and was out like a light.

He awoke around 10:30. It had been 3 days without a shower. He raised his arm and took a whiff-,

His eyes weren't watering and his nose hairs weren't curling, so he was alright. He stood up and stretched, walking to his room, to AT LEAST, change his trousers, and shirt.

He looked in the mirror at his chubby body. He was no-where near fat, but he wasn't bone thin. He grabbed his belly and jiggled it a bit, before rushing out the door, and back to his car, and zoomed on down to Freddy's.

_Is the Fox creature going to kill me?! Wait, why the fuck am I going back._

He thought to himself as he walked in,

A man mopped the floors, as everything was shutting down. Mike starred at the robots as he walked to his "OFFICE".

He sat down and already peaked in on them all, and sighed. He leaned back in the chair and spun. It was **11:55**,

The janitor-man hauled ass out within the next minute, and he locked the doors.

Shit got real.

Within **10 minutes** Bonnie and Chica were up and about—- You could say they were….. _Making their way downtown—._

Mike shut the doors when he needed too and opened them back up soon enough.

He sighed loudly and grumbled. "_This is getting kinda dumb, do they do this ALL the time, like boo hoo scare me, stuff me in a suit, but really every goddamn night."_

_"Yes t-T-they do, l-LAD,"_ Came a gruff broken voice, as the fox approached. He limped and flashed a golden toothy grin.

Mike raised an eyebrow, and scooted away in his chair. Foxy walked in and leaned against the desk. His tail flickered.

_"wh-WHAT's yer name…?"_ Foxy asked curiously. His eye-patch flipped up, with a little mechanical whirl.

_"Eh…. Uh… Mike, Mike Schmidt. "_ He cleared his throat and pulled at the collar of his shirt.

_"Well h-hello thERE, Mi-mike."_ Foxy chuckled, and held out his bare-mechanical hand.

Mike reluctantly shook it. Sharp wires, and cold rough metal greeted him. He shivered and quickly let go.

_"I Be F-foxy! The Pirate! "_ He said with glee.

Mike nodded and went quiet. Bonnie appeared outside the door. Foxy turned around and snarled loudly, and jumped at the Androgynous rabbit. Bonnie backed off and mumbled- storming to tell Freddy on Foxy.

Mike blinked and shifted awkwardly. Why….Did he just scare the bugs bunny off, what the shit. He shrugged it off.

"_HOW….Are….You guys alive….?"_ He took a shot and asked with a confused expression.

_"It's a long story…very…long… Let's keep it sho-SHORT and simple…eh? We have been alive since we'wa' programed. We'wa meant to be around the kiddo's and play, sing, and get down on their level. Our intelligence just developed and right before… everyone….even our own eyes we knew more and more. The owner denied we were anything but just highly programed…."_ He began to trail off.

_"And then…87…. and then…the lawsuits…people started believing we were bots….well…they were…while i was put up…."_ Foxy looked down and sat up straight. _"Huh…Chica's over there._" Foxy looked out the other window.

Mike shut the door and starred at him with a puzzled expression.

_"Why are you closed off_?"

_"Oh…..lad yo'yo-yOU'RE full'a questions….._" He sighed.

The clock struck

"_Maybe another night, Lad…. I oughta get going….b'fore Freddy Catches me…."_ He chuckled and got up, hustling out with quick, broken, whirs.

Mike sat back and rubbed his stubble covered chin and thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Mike was on edge throughout this night. The monstrous robots hauled ass to his office. He thought about _'87. _He questioned what that… event..? Was…

He continued shutting and opening the doors.

Suddenly all the power went out, leaving him alone in the darkness.

A quiet twinkle started up, and eyes glowed.

_"What the shit." _Mike sat up straight and snorted- he started laughing.

The large- robotic bear charged the young man and Mike screamed.

Just as Freddy FazBear grabbed Mike his alarm went off, charming the sweet sound that it was **6AM**

Freddy quickly went back to the stage, with a pissed gleam in his artificial eyes.

Mike rushed to his car, and zoomed off home, sweating immensely. _"That was fuckin' pleasant._…." He yawned and sat on his couch. He rubbed his face and closed his eyes.

His phone started going off, Mike quickly answered it.

_"Hey Quimby~!"_ Mike Cooed out and put the call on speaker-

_"Hello darlin`! I am almost home!"_ The squeaky voice responded.

_"I'm awfully excited to see you Babe."_ Mike smirked to himself and stretched.

_"I am too, love…. Have you found a job?"_ The other asked. _"…..I have. I have indeed."_ Mike said and cleared his throat. _"I got a lot to tell you beautiful…But.. I'm tired as fuck, so I will tell you later… Alright?"_ Mike chuckled slightly. A small laugh came from the other, _"Alrighty Mikey dear. I love you." "I love you too, Quimby."_ He sighed contently and hung up-.

He rushed around and picked up the apartment "Slightly" and climbed in bed.

As time went on, keys jingled into the door and it opened to reveal someone. It was "Quimby". Quimby was a short figure, slightly pear shaped. They had short curly orange hair, and was COVERED in little freckles. Quimbys eyes were grey and duel, but the smile on their face was bright.

Quimby walked into the bedroom where Mike slept, and climbed in next to him. Quim read the shirt that read "Freddy FazBear Security." Quim raised an eyebrow but shrugged. Mike stretched and looked up at 'er.

_"Hey… babe…"_ He leaned up and pecked Quim on the cheek and pulled 'er close. Quim made a purring like sound and nuzzled Mike.

_"I'm so glad you're home… I have lots to tell you…"_ He sat up.


End file.
